catwallpaper (catwallpaper) wrote,

I see a rainforest, a deep green canopy of trees. The rain never stops, but the sun rises as a rainbow each morning. The foliage is thick, heavy, sopping wet. I cannot cut through it with my fingernails; I cannot do anything about it. How do I see the rainbow? Dear inner most self, how can I convince you to let me free? If you will not I will use my fingernails to slice my own skin; I will offer myself as prey for the roaring beasts in the night. Do not doubt my capabilities; do you even know me? The night is never silent yet always still. The air is humid, moist and sickeningly warm. I will not leave this place; I will not give in to the idea of escaping my own mind. Someday I will cut through, break the wall, crash the trees upon each other as I leap over their falling branches. I will die in a free fall, only after grasping the rainbow in my sky.
This is why I shall not return to the way things were. My bags are not unpacked yet, but I'm considering just chucking them from the third story window of this wretched apartment. I see everything sprinkled around me, clues, people and the fourth dimension (its questionable existence). I wish that my journey was not so lonely; I wish that I had someone to put on makeup with, someone to write with, someone to cry with. I wish I had someone, or more, to lead through hell. But I only have myself and I, and everyone else. Goodnight moon; do not remember me.
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